5 current signs you were parentified as a child

Parentification is what happens when a child takes on responsibilities that should be handled by their parent or caretaker. This can either be emotional parentification (mediating, listening to the parent’s problems or providing advice) or instrumental (cleaning, cooking, taking care of siblings).

Here are 5 current signs you were parentified as a child:

You tie your self-worth to your achievements & actions.

(Why: as a child, your parents praised you for being responsible & good when you provided them with support.)

You believe your needs are burdens to others & likely can’t even identify or acknowledge them.

(Why: as a child, your needs weren’t adequately taken care of by your parents. You learned to neglect your needs as you focused on others’ needs, namely your parents.)

You have difficulty establishing your sense of self.

(Why: as a child, your identity was formed in relation to your parents & what you could provide them.)

You feel responsible for others’ emotions & try to help them feel happy & comfortable.

(Why: as a child, you believed you were responsible for your parents’ emotions as you mediated conflict, listened to their complaints & cheered them up.)

You are unable to easily access your emotions.

(Why: as a child, there wasn’t a safe space to feel or express your emotions—the focus was on your parents’ emotions.)

*You can read more of these posts on my instagram page, @therapy.with.emilee