name it to tame it

Daniel Siegel is a psychiatrist & author who has written many books & contributed greatly to our knowledge of mindfulness & attachment theory. He coined the phrase: “name it to tame it.” This describes the process of recognizing & acknowledging emotions as they are happening. As we NAME our emotions, we can actually TAME the stress & anxiety we experience due to those very emotions.

Seems way too simple, right? It kind of is, actually. When we experience anything threatening or uncertain—like unknown emotions—our brain registers this as a signal to go into fight-or-flight mode. By labeling our emotions when we experience them, we create more certainty & our prefrontal cortex is reactivated as we calm down.

Of course, actually doing this in practice is not as simple. If we grew up in homes where we weren’t taught that emotions were okay to feel, or if we don’t know how to recognize various emotions as they come up for us, we might not have a strong foundation to start from. I love using www.feelingswheel.com to check-in with my emotions regularly through the day. It’s taken some time over the past few years to increase my emotional granularity (the ability to differentiate between specific emotions) but I have made progress. When I feel something come up in my body, or notice some sensation or behavior that clues me into the fact that I’m not acknowledging a certain emotion, I pause & pull out my feelings wheel. As I do so, I feel more in-control & I feel empowered as I gain understanding of my experience—as I NAME it, I’m able to TAME it :)