rituals & religion
Why we miss religious rituals & how we can make rituals work for us:
Rituals are an integral part of religion. Temple ceremonies, celebrating holidays, attending church or studying the scriptures are all examples of rituals we might practice in religion. They are also examples of rituals we might stop practicing when we shift in our religious or spiritual beliefs.
To some, there might be feelings of relief--no looking back--when rituals end. To others, complicated feelings of grief & longing might come up. This makes a lot of sense--rituals provide us with comfort & meaning.
Rituals provide us with comfort. Engaging in routine gives us structure & predictability--something our brains crave. Compared to the other parts of our unpredictable & stressful lives, carrying out rituals gives us a sense of safety & control (& can actually lower our anxiety).
Rituals provide us with meaning. Rituals have a purpose, & even if the religious purpose is removed, we might find that we engaged in those rituals for other purposes, too. This is best explored in terms of our values. Perhaps going to church aligned with our value of community. Maybe holidays brought us closer to our values of fun or joy. If we attended the temple regularly with friends or our partner, that might have moved us closer to our value of connection. And studying the scriptures could have aligned with values such as knowledge or wisdom.
If you find yourself missing rituals when the time comes around that you would normally engage in them, check in with yourself. Perhaps your body is simply missing the consistency & calm: the comfort that came through the ritual. If so, see how you can adapt a routine into your life that feels authentic & gives you reprieve from the rest of your schedule.
Perhaps you are missing something more--the meaning the ritual provided you as it moved you closer to your values. If that's the case, see how you can take that value & put it into a new ritual instead. Maybe you plan a weekly movie night with friends for community or connection. Or maybe you end your night by reading a book or watching a docuseries, for wisdom. Or maybe you look up new holidays to celebrate & to bring fun & joy into your calendar year.
If you are transitioning in your faith, it's okay to leave rituals behind that no longer serve you. It's also okay to keep some (or all) of the rituals you follow. And of course, it's okay to find ways to make new rituals in your life, to take religion out of the ritual.
*You can read more of these posts on my instagram page, @religious.trauma.with.emilee
