a recipe for rejection

Sharing our needs can be a recipe for rejection.

When we feel invalidated or unconsidered by someone, it's a chance to communicate our needs to them. We can let them know why we feel hurt.

We can also choose to not tell them why we feel hurt. This is often much easier. This keeps us from experiencing rejection.

Many of us have likely already experienced that recipe for rejection: sharing our needs with another person.

When we share our needs, our needs might be "too much" or we might be making it "a big deal". If we are too much, then we might not be wanted anymore.

It has felt much safer for us to avoid sharing our needs--which, over time, keeps us from acknowledging our needs to ourselves. Because if we acknowledge our needs, that might mean we need to share them...& again, we want to avoid that at all costs.

Healthy & connecting relationships are built on safety. That safety includes a space where we can share our needs with the other person, freely and without judgment.

When we start to assess & acknowledge our needs, we will likely find relationships that no longer serve us. We will see that we don't need the acceptance of some people anymore, because we are starting to accept ourselves & our needs.

We won't fear rejection anymore, because we know our needs & we know that those needs deserve to be heard & met.