turning other-care into self-care

People-pleasing comes from a need to feel accepted by others so that we have a sense of worth. As we work on repairing the source of our self-worth—shifting it from an external source to an internal one—we can try to create habits or routines that allow us to spend time with ourselves. In other words, we can engage in self-care.

Self-care can be hard to implement, especially when we’re so used to taking care of others & don’t always have the time, energy, or understanding to do that for ourselves. We can start by channeling our same strengths that allow us to take care of others.

If we’re good at cheering others up, maybe we can spend an afternoon doing something to cheer ourselves up. If we’re good at listening to others, maybe we can listen to ourselves as we journal in the evening.

As we take that time to take care of ourselves, we’ll start to accept ourselves more. That acceptance will develop into believing we have worth that is completely independent from how well we please others. We can turn that other-care into self-care :)

*You can read more of these posts on my instagram page, @therapy.with.emilee

boundaries: loving others AND ourselves

Boundaries are there so that we don't forget that there are two people in a relationship: we are one of those people! For those of us who have a tendency to give more than is required in a relationship--or give more than receive--we can sometimes grow resentful & forget that WE also deserve to be loved by ourselves too! Our own actions within relationships can betray our needs, wants, or values. Boundaries are the rules we make for ourselves that can keep us in line with our needs, wants, and values--an act of showing love to ourselves.

So here's a reminder that boundaries allow us to love others in the amounts that we are able & capable of doing....while ALSO loving ourselves at the same time!