what i wish i had known about cultivating safety:

what i wish i knew years ago about cultivating my emotional safety:

cultivating safety means controlling what i can & letting go of what i can’t. i can’t make others treat me with kindness & consideration. i can treat myself with kindness & consideration by choosing whether to stay in certain situations or relationships (or deciding how i will stay in those situations or relationships)—this is safety.

cultivating safety involves communication & setting boundaries. setting boundaries intentionally—by examining what i need & deciding how to move closer to my values—creates safety.

cultivating safety involves self-advocacy. i can only create safety once i acknowledge my needs & take steps to fulfill my needs. this often means prioritizing my own needs over others’ needs—which also means letting go of the need for acceptance. at first, this feels like it isn’t safe, but it actually is.

cultivating safety in a relationship is scary at first. but as i cultivate safety more & more in my relationships & life, my inner voice grows stronger, because i’m learning to believe my needs are worth listening to.

*you can read more of these posts on my instagram page, @therapy.with.emilee