feelings vs. thoughts

One way to gain emotional awareness is through recognizing the difference between feelings & thoughts. We often confuse the two in our everyday language. "I feel like that's a good idea" or "I feel that you're trying to avoid the topic" are both actually thoughts, not feelings.

Using "feel" at the beginning of a thought can make an accusation seem softer. It can also be a way to avoid vulnerability. "I feel that you're trying to avoid the topic" is easier to say than "I feel hurt when you change the subject." But that second option actually includes a feeling--feeling hurt.

Try to notice when you start a sentence with "I feel..." If a feeling word (angry, happy, confused, sad, embarrassed) doesn't follow, there are two things we can do.

1. We can correct our language to align with the thought we are having. "It seems..." "I notice..." "I think..." are all good phrases to begin our thoughts.

2. We can pause to see if there is a feeling we are experiencing that we aren't acknowledging. Perhaps there is a thought and a feeling that seem appropriate to share: "I feel like that's a good idea" can become "I feel excited, I think that's a great idea."

While this is semantic, it encourages vulnerability with ourselves & others as we pause to be intentional about our language around our emotions. I feel confident that distinguishing between your thoughts & feelings will lead to increased emotional awareness :)