I work a lot with people-pleasers. Because of this, the clients I work with often want to figure out how to fix their problems. They’re so used to trying to fix other people’s problems that they believe everything will be better once they have a solution.
Well, the clients who have success with me know that there’s no magic solution. They might start by asking me for answers, to help them “fix” away their problems…but they soon realize that there is no quick fix. These clients realize that they want to take the time to learn how to listen to their needs. They want to stop looking to other people for solutions or even to give them their sense of worth. I’m not here to give them a fish—I’m here to help them learn how to fish (& sometimes it can take a dang long time to catch a fish, am I right?)
I also work with clients who have experienced religious trauma. This is a separate niche, so my clients might have religious trauma without being a people-pleaser, or they might be a people-pleaser without having religious trauma. But these two aren’t mutually exclusive. Sometimes my clients fall into both categories: because of the religious trauma they experienced, they learned codependent behaviors that encouraged their people-pleasing tendencies. Whether my clients fall into either or both categories, there are past experiences they want to process to help them change their beliefs about how they show up in relationships.
In general, most of the clients I see have experienced complex trauma. Because of this, they often have a lot of self-awareness. I love this—it gives us a leg up in our work, since we know a bit about why they are the way they are. Now, the clients who have success with me are willing to slow down & come back into their bodies. This is different than what they’ve know most of their lives—they’ve always sought self-awareness so that they can feel in-control of knowing themselves, flaws & all. I work well with the clients who are willing to pause. They stop intellectualizing & they embrace their emotions.
Oh, & these clients come ready to work. They’re tired of how things have been & they’re ready to see shifts in their lives. They’re ready to make those shifts happen. It’s okay if they don’t know what they need to do just yet—that’s what our time together in therapy is for! But they do know they need something to change in their lives.
Clients I work with experience these main issues:
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Clients might also experience additional concerns in these areas:
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