let’s talk about what it means to own our words & let others do the same

et’s talk about what it means to own our words & let others do the same:

as people pleasers we are terrified that people don’t really mean what they’re saying. we don’t think that they are owning their words—while they’re saying one thing (e.g. “i’m totally fine!”) we might believe they mean something else underneath those words (e.g. “i’m really not okay with you or this situation right now”).

on one hand, we likely experienced a relationship in childhood where we had to guess what the other person’s needs were in order to show up for them.

but on the other hand, we likely know how often we don’t actually say what we need, feel, or think—so of course, we think that others are doing the same.

an incredible shift can happen when we start owning our words: we start to believe everyone else is doing the same. we let them own their words, too. when we are clearly communicating, we can start to believe others are clearly communicating as well.

they might not be clearly communicating, but we stop worrying or wondering if they mean what they say (or are saying everything they want to).

while we might not trust someone in other ways, we can trust that they mean the words that they are saying. if they say “i’m totally fine!” we can choose to trust they REALLY mean that. if they don’t, that’s on them. it’s not on us. they need to own their words.

*you can read more of these posts on my instagram page, @therapy.with.emilee